Grief During the Holidays
Grief during the holidays isn’t just about sadness. Sure, there might be tears when a favorite song plays or when you pull out that one ornament. But grief can also look like anger when someone says the wrong thing or a deep ache when everyone else seems so joyful. Sometimes it’s just plain exhaustion from pretending you’re okay when you’re not.
And then there’s the grief we don’t always talk about. The messy, complicated feelings that don’t fit into the neat picture of loss people expect. Maybe you’re mourning someone who isn’t physically gone but emotionally unavailable—a parent who’s still alive but was never really “there” for you. That’s called ambiguous grief, and it’s heavy in a way that’s hard to explain. Or maybe your loss doesn’t feel “valid” enough, like a miscarriage, the loss of a pet, or a dream that didn’t happen. That’s disenfranchised grief, and it often comes with a side of guilt for even feeling the way you do.
The holidays can bring all of this to the surface, magnifying what’s missing or what could have been. You might find yourself smiling through traditions while a part of you feels distant and detached. You might avoid gatherings altogether because the weight of pretending is too much.
But Grief doesn’t follow a timeline and it doesn’t have to look a certain way. You’re allowed to feel joy and sadness in the same breath. You’re allowed to take up space with your grief, even if the world around you feels like it’s shouting, “Be happy!”
If this resonates, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy can help you make sense of the layers of grief, find ways to honor your loss, and let go of the pressure to “get over it.” The holidays may never feel the same, but they can still hold moments of peace and connection—even if it looks different than it did before. You deserve that, and we’re here to support you.
